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Month: November 2004


hmm…sad day. after searching throughly, i finally make a conclusion that my thumbdrive has gone, forever. i love that thumbdrive since it was a gift from my dad plus i had a lot of important stuff stored there. probably i just buy a new one but of course it would never be the same. ah well…what to do…

i played bowling today after. first game since after the holidays. my game a bit rusty and the ‘aches’ in body parts such as back and neck suddenly came back. mel kicked my ass in the first round but i returned the favour in the second round although i doubt that he was just giving me a winning chance. oh did i forgot to tell that i managed to score with a chick at the bowling alley today? we were smoking (well, not me anyway) in the smoking room when this two ‘kinda’ hot chicks went into the bowling alley. we stared at them until they blush and we make some body language telling them we’re interested. of course, women, they instantly became shy and started to ‘jual mahal’, waving and throwing their hair, etc. we were close in getting them but there were one problem. the girls went out with their father or uncle or whatever. he’s kinda big though. ahh…if not it would be awesome to touch/caress/fondle those big and spongy thingy…mmm. nonetheless, it was fun doing that (staring at chicks) and i certainly wouldn’t mind doing that again someday if the moment were right and the chick factor is high. who knows, i might score big and get the a girl.

this is a yesterday story. it started pretty okay. i was early for class until i entered the class. the lecturer decided to do a suprise quiz. yeah, suprise indeed. i haven’t read a single thing. the image of 0 mark has already in my mind. i don’t mind that because it totally my fault. then theres this thing. after the lecturer has mark our paper, she called this fucker dude who i barely know and me to the front. she started to interrogate me and this fucker dude on who copy who. it seems that our answer was just the same. of course, i admit to her face and make eye contact that i don’t copy anybody especially that m*****fucker dude. suprisingly that fucker admit that he also didn’t copy. he even swear to the lecturer. man, what a load of crap. be a man and admit you are wrong. all my friends told me that they saw that m*****fucker copy my answers. i also noticed that he was staring at my question paper. i was so pissed that i feel like wanted to hit that m*****fucker. luckily the lecturer impression on me still haven’t change. so, the ‘kipas project’ is still on…

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up yours

sometimes you know it’s gonna be a crappy day from the moment you woke up. today is one of those days. well, i’ve been busy with assignments and projects what not. plus, i’m already late for my morning class which started an hour ago. my philosophy in attending class is simple. no matter what the time is, i must enter the class even there’s only 5 minutes left. that’s to sign the attendance. if it is below 5 minutes, i’ll never enter that class for that day. so, i arrived at the college parking lot, not knowing something has changed. i sms’ed my friend to find out if there’s an exchange of class. he said all fine and i should enter the class. well, upon entering, i was snubbed by the lecturer and laughed at by my fucking idiot classmates. it seems that the class has already ended 2 minutes ago. ugh…it is a disaster. a humiliation. i was so pissed of at my friend i just left the class and went home to cool off so i won’t hit somebody that day. a great day to start. late and being laugh at.

i’m still have this rage thing going on and it seems going from bad to worse. aromatheraphy, councelling, massages seems didn’t do shit. scolding and calling a parking cashier girl a ‘bitch’ because doing her work like a tortoise won’t do either (kesian dia). i must find someting to curb this anger thing. maybe find a girlfriend or whatever. i’ve started a new hobby yesterday and it is photography. photography can gave me relaxation and something to do besides sleeping keeping my hands occupied. idle hands are the devil’s playground. i already bought a digital camera yesterday and now started to experiment, taking photos everywhere. check out my picture gallery under the ‘photography’ section. i’m still a novice, so give me a break.

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telefon berkamera

alkisah…suatu hari, aku terasa begitu bosan lalu bermain dengan telefon berkamera. sehubungan dengan itu, aku pun lantas mengambil gambar skodeng ini. siapa terrer, sila teka gambar apakah ini…


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avril lavigne – my happy ending

yesterday, i got this e-mail

hi azfar. thanks for the asmaradana video clip although the size was small. do you have avril lavigne my happy ending video? thanks.

err…hello. this is not MTV okay? install kazaa or emule and download it there. by the way…

– – – – – –
avril lavigne – my happy ending

so much for my happy ending

let’s talk this over
it’s not like we’re dead
was it something i did?
was it something you said?
don’t leave me hanging
in a city so dead
held up so high
on such a breakable thread

you were all the things i thought i knew
and I thought we could be

you were everything, everything that i wanted
we were meant to be, supposed to be, but we lost it
and all of the memories, so close to me, just fade away
all this time you were pretending
so much for my happy ending

you’ve got your dumb friends
i know what they say
they tell you I’m difficult
but so are they
but they don’t know me
do they even know you?
all the things you hide from me
all the shit that you do

you were all the things i thought i knew
and i thought we could be


it’s nice to know that you were there
thanks for acting like you cared
and making me feel like i was the only one
it’s nice to know we had it all
thanks for watching as i fall
and letting me know we were done

[chorus x2]

so much for my happy ending
– – – – – –

see the video [here]

(c) all copyright goes to their respective owner.

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happy 2nd year

i’ve been around cyberspace since july 1997 and i started blogging on november 21st, 2002 at my temporary workplace in usm. so, i’ve been blogging for 2 years now. happy 2nd anniversary to me and my blog. hoping to blog more in the future.

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finding love. again

(a cheesy story, beware) it’s been almost 2 years now that i don’t have a serious relationship. a dry spell. i have a brief one in the two years time but it was just ‘for fun’ or time filler and nothing serious. well, quite pathetic if i want to sum it into one word. i’ve been searching though since then but oddly there were none available. mostly of course i choose becasue of lust. i remember vaguely, on my first year in univ, i’ve got this nice, beautiful girl as a girlfriend. i got a lot of reactions from my friends and people i don’t know. some were envy, some were supportive but mostly they try to ruined my relationship. it’s not a paranoid or innermonologue. i don’t know why they would do such thing to me. maybe i threaten them in some way? lastly, the relationship didn’t work and it lasts for only 1 1/2 year. well umm…i caught her cheating with other man (someone’s husband, no less) at some apartment in KL. that um…suck. probably i should’nt pick a WHORE :evil: as a girlfriend.

a couple of months after that, i found a new relationship. actually i knew this girl while i’m still in a relationship with THAT WHORE on an event. we just chat a bit and exchange numbers in case we need help or something since she was in the same faculty of mine. someday, we bumped each other, talking at a cafe and suddenly sparks bursts. well, um, i started to have feeling towards her. my social life is not a big secret back then. even she knew my past and asking what are the status of my relationship with THAT WHORE. a month after, we became an item. i have a relationship again. i was happy…but only for 1 year (shit, a curse?). during that time, something awful happened. some asshole been spying on me. a stalker. my personal life, my address, my telephone number were shared among them in some secret underground world. spooky. after a big confrontation, it went away but my second relationship has already on the rocks and to add on to it, she knew about me going out with THAT WHORE. well um…maybe i have a soft spot for a slut. ha ha.

to end all this big mess, i ended it up nicely (dump). no friends, no calls, no letters. i haven’t contact one of them since. from that time to now, i haven’t have a serious relationship. probably i developed a fobia. one day, i got a raya card from my sekolah rendah crush. she gave me her phone number. so, i reply the raya card by giving my number. she called me asking how am i doing, i called her to wish rari raya. you all know lah, the usual stuff. hoping to find a relationship again, i asked her out last friday. to catch up what we’ve been up to since. the outing was successful. she was gorgeous like the last time i saw her. we went for a movie, a dinner, a stroll in the park, etc. i started to have this butterfly in my stomach. a great feeling. a chemistry. a sparkle or whatever else. maybe this is the last chance i’ve got to start a relationship again. while driving to her house, i asked her a question so i could ‘seal the deal’. erm…for a mood killer, she answered that she already have found someone in her life. i was late for 1 month. if only i could found her earlier. after she answered that, i feel like driving into a cliff or something. it’s like a big rock has crushed me to the death. i controlled my feelings and keep it professional until she walked out of the car. after waving goodbye and confirmed she had gone into her house, i drive back to my house screaming, punching the windscreen and banging my head on the streering wheel all manly. ha ha…but i don’t cry though.

after a long staring at the sky moment, i guess it is not my time. look like i have to wait for it some more. i can get her some other way but i didn’t want to be the bad guy who ruined other people happiness. we’ve already agreed that we’re just friends. let her happy for once and maybe one day i’ll find mine…



pada mulanya, aku bercadang hari ni nak tido. cover tido semalam dan malam-malam kelmarin. penat woo asyik driving aje. tapi tak jadi pulak. hari ni ada hal sikit. aku ke kajang hari ni. bawak adik aku berubat dengan sorang pakcik ni. ayah saudara aku yang rekemen. orang kata bagus. aku tak kisah le, harapnya adik aku ni terus baik lepas ni. takde muntah-muntah ke apa ke. dalam satu jam lebih la jugak duduk kat rumah pakcik tu. dah habis berubat, aku pergi makan satay kajang haji samuri kat bandar kajang. satay ni bukanle makanan favourite aku dan aku takde le gila-gila sangat satay ni. tak hype bak kata anak-anak muda. cuma saja je alang-alang dah sampai kat sini, makan aje le satay kajang original. kat KL ni banyak sangat satay kajang tiruan. mahal pulak tu. lagipun bile lagi nak merasa, iye tak?

tak ramai pulak orang time aku pergi situ. mungkin semua masih beraya. aku order satay 20 ayam, 10 daging campur dengan nasi impit. testimonial aku? well, ok la satay kajang original ni. takde le sedap gile. rasa cam satay-satay standard. harga secucuk pun berbaloi la dengan saiz satay dia tuh kalau nak dibandingkan dengan satay lain. cam satay kat tempat lain. harga mahal, tapi saiz kecik. huh. nasi impit dan kuah dia pun, allright le jugak. nak pulak bile dicampur dengan sambal pedas tu. fuh…

mungkin lain hari kalau aku datang kajang lagi, boleh makan lagi. ataupun ada sesiapa kat sini nak belanja aku ke atau bawak aku pergi jalan sana ker…

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raya: day 4

horizon di highway pantai timur

uh…bangun lambat lagi hari ni. tengahari baru terjaga. selepas perbincangan ringkas, orang-orang tua memutuskan untuk balik KL hari ni. aku ok je. tak tau le kalau adik beradik aku yang lain tu nak stay lagi. lepas packing, salam-salam, terus berangkat ke KL. time driving kat highway ni pun bawak pelan-pelan je. bawah 110km/h. aku speeding pun bila dah masuk ke karak sebab time tu dah gelap. sebelum sampai rumah, family aku singgah makan kat syed dulu. tak sangka gak raya tahun ni aku dapat duit raya lagi. ha ha ha…dah 22 pun masih dapat duit raya. tapi aku ingat tak nak belanja aa duit tu, buat simpan dalam bank ok gak. boleh buat nak pergi umrah nanti…he he he…kalau dah siap transfer ke pc gambar raya aku tu, nanti aku letak dalam galeri gambar aku okeh.

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raya: day 3

uh…bangun je da tengahari. eh bukan, 11 pagi. seb baik takde orang datang beraya lagi. time tengah tunggu tandas available, aku sambung tido plak dalam bilik. last-last memang bangun tengahari. orang dah balik beraya. lepas mandi dan memakai baju raya aku yang baru (hmm…), aku gerak pergi rumah sedara kat kubang buaya. ingatkan nak pergi rumah jos, tapi dia senyap je. time lepak-lepak dan makan-makan kat rumah sedara tu, pakcik aku ajak pergi segamat ambik kereta dia hantar baiki kat situ. kat felda keratong. fuh, beraya kat felda aku hari ni. sampai sana petang, tunggu orang yang baiki kereta tu, ada la dekat malam baru siap. jadi aku melantak kuih raya member pakcik aku aje le kat situ. dah setel semua, gerak ke kuantan. malamnya tak buat apa-apa pun. cuma buat rancangan sesama sedara aku pergi makan kat kedai mamak, pastu jalan tc (teluk chempedak). hujan time tu, jadi nak jalan keluar tak boleh. round-round dengan kereta aje le. pastu lepak-lepak layan vcd cerita white chicks. ho ho…

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raya: day 2

fuh…lowered gile kereta ni.

jarak sampai posting ni dari pc ke website agak lambat (3 hari?), oleh itu, aku dengan selambanya memutarkan balik jam untuk kebahagiaan archive dan keselesaan database. raya ke dua? oh, aku habiskan sepanjang hari kat lebuh raya. orait? berhari raya dengan kereta. aku bertolak dari penang dalam pukul 1pm. aku ingatkan sampai le cepat kat KL, tapi hujan lebat gile time kat penang dan kat lembah beringin. aku tak nampak jalan langsung. selain tu, aku bawak berhemah giler time tu. 110km/h ataupun 90km/h. baik sungguh. ni sebab tak nak kena saman lagi aa…kopak aku nanti. time yang aku boleh speed pun masa hujan. aku bajet laser polis tu tak boleh nampak punye time hujan ni. tapi bawak laju time hujan tu pun aku takut-takut gak, sebab bahaya. dah le kereta kecik, bawak adik beradik lagi. sampai aje kat sempadan selangor, aku tak pikir panjang dah, terus aje speed masuk sungai buloh. time tu dah berenti hujan. mrr2 pun kosong je walaupun pakcik samy dah kasi ‘line’ gune jalan tu. aku berhenti kejap kat burger king kat mrr2 tu, makan dan rilek-rilek jap.

habis je rilek (dalam 20minit), aku terus masuk highway gombak-karak. nak gerak ke kuantan. sebelum tu lepak tunggu kereta ayah aku kejap lepas tol. sampai je ayah aku, terus aku pecut masuk highway. ayah aku kasi green light nak pegi dulu. time tu dalam pukul 7 lebih. disebabkan dah malam, so aku terus menerus aje speeding. tak kira kereta kecik ke apa ke. time nak masuk highway baru pantai timur tu, hujan lebat lagi. aku tak nampak apa-apa pun. gamble je jalan. dah suku jalan kat highway tu, baru hujan berhenti. gile gak mengantuk time drive kat highway baru tu sebab jalan dia lurus je. sempat berangan-angan lagi. kalau tak disebabkan aku bawak cd ‘compilation’ aku tu, tertido la aku bawak kereta tu. sepanjang jalan, aku cari-cari gak le jalan yang orang kata kalau korner boleh buang tu. tapi tak jumpa. emm…

sampai kuantan dalam pukul 10 lebih. duduk-duduk kat rumah atuk jap, pastu aku terus tertido. fuh…penat + mengantuk + boring = pengsan.

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raya: day 1

hurm…raya yang biasa untuk aku tahun ni. takde la luar biasa pun. macam tahun-tahun yang sudah. awal pagi, pergi sembahyang raya kat masjid bayan baru dengan ayah aku. nasib baik dapat masuk dalam masjid. punyalah ramai orang (especially workers kilang industri). double parking pun double parking lah. lepas sembahyang, baru aku ternampak fesyen-fesyen terkini yang diperagakan. minah-minah “industri” nih bergaya sakan woo…ambik-ambik gambar sana sini. but alas, ok la tuh. lepas edisi bersalam-salaman, bermaaf-maafan dan menangis bersama ahli kerluarga, kiterang makan. sudah tentu, favourite aku ketupat pulut, nasi minyak dan rendang daging. aku tak layan gila-gila sangat ketupat tu tapi makan tetap makan lah. lepas rilekkan perut, kiterang gerak ke kulim. rumah nenek aku. ramai yang ada kat sana. sedara mara, kawan-kawan lama. dapat jugak aku borak-borak pasal open source dengan pakcik aku. dia kerja manager ape tah kat sunway computers. ok gak tu, boleh le satu hari nanti aku buat intern kat sana ke, ataupun kerja terus kat sana. cuma berharap pakcik aku tawar projek yang best je kat aku nanti. ha ha ha.

habis di kulim, gerak ke rumah sedara mak aku pulak. wah…makan lagi. perut aku hebat. sambil menunggu mak aku berborak, aku tidur le dulu, atas kerusi. penat woo. balik je rumah, aku terus bongkang sampai tengah malam. aku terbangun terus aku tulis menatang entry nih. ha ha. ni pulak esok nak kena drive pergi kuantan pulak. aku 2 pilihan, sama ada gerak ke KL dan kemudian ke kuantan atau terus masuk ke genting sempah, yang bermaksud kena naik genting dulu. fuh…tak mau le aku naik genting. jahanam kereta. kang sesia je pepagi raya tu kena tukar brake disk yang terbakar. dulu dah pernah sekali naik, berbau hangit je brake tu. kalau bawak jeep 4 wheel drive takpe gak. aku pilih aje le gerak ke KL dulu baru kuantan. walaupun jauh, tapi…argh…penat!

petang tadi waktu amerika (6:57:04pm), domain aku secara rasminya berusia satu tahun. mula-mula aku ingat dah malas nak continue domain ni, nak pakai yang baru ( tapi bila fikir balik, takpelah, for history sake. lagipun ramai dah tahu domain ni. payah nak promote baru nanti. struggle la jugak aku nak renew hari tu sebab dah nak dekat raya. kompeni yang handle domain ni pun dah nak cuti. nasib baik aku sempat. siap sms-sms lagi boss dia tuh. so, dengan ini, survive untuk satu tahun lagi. harap dapat survive sampai bebila la hendaknye.

okaylah, gua chow dulu. selamat hari raya…

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